Ruby’s story: “I’ve had a life and a half.”

“I’ve had a life and a half,” Ruby says with a smile.

She played badminton for 23 years, travelled with friends, cared for older people and children with autism, tended a beautiful garden and raised two daughters she speaks about with obvious pride. She found love a second time and married again at 74.

When Ruby talks about her life, the stories come easily. One memory leads to another. Before long she is pointing to photographs from years gone by and laughing as she remembers her younger days.

Then the conversation turns to what changed.

“I used to get up in the morning and think, ‘Oh, I’ll go somewhere today,’” she says.

For Ruby, independence was never only about driving. It was about choice. If she wanted to visit the beach, she went. If she felt like catching up with a friend, she got in her car.

That changed after a series of health setbacks and a fall that broke her hip. Ruby first came to HBH Howick Views for respite care. As she recovered, it became clear that returning to the life she had known would not be possible.

“It was terrible,” she says. “I was really depressed, and I kept crying. It is very hard to accept the way life has changed. I couldn’t just hop in the car and go where I wanted.” That is the loss she still feels most deeply.

Over time, the days began to feel less empty. Physiotherapy and exercise helped her get going in the morning. Music bingo, Rummikub, mini golf and walks around the grounds gave her ways to take part when she felt able. Slowly, Ruby began to feel more connected to the life around her. She still has a choice, just that choices are different.

One of her favourite places is the reception lounge. Residents gather there throughout the day. They watch people come and go, share stories, laugh together and, as Ruby says, have “a cup of tea and a bicky.”

What matters most is not simply having people around her. It is being with people who understand. “We chat about things, and we’re all in the same boat,” she says. “You think, ‘You’re not the only one.’”

Inside her room, every shelf holds another story. Family photographs stretching across generations. Fresh flowers. A crocheted chicken made by her granddaughter. A soft toy sent from Australia that looks just like Jasper, the dog Ruby still misses. And her glory box, bought on layby as a young woman and slowly filled with cups, saucers and the things she hoped would one day furnish her first home. “It’s as old as me,” she laughs.

When Ruby celebrated her 93rd birthday, she expected an ordinary day. Instead, carepartners came to celebrate with her, gave her hugs, took photos and made a fuss of her. “I couldn’t believe it,” she says.

“It was lovely. I’ll never forget that.”

“The staff are amazing,” Ruby says. “They are very helpful and very caring, and they make me laugh.” Her family visit often, and her grandchildren and great grandchildren still give her “big cuddles.” “I’m very lucky,” she says.

When asked what she would say to someone facing the move into residential care, Ruby does not pretend it is easy. She knows what it means to leave behind a home, a garden and a lifetime of independence.

She also knows what it means for the people who love you. “My daughters said, ‘Mum, we know you’re safe. We know you’re well fed and looked after.’” For Ruby, those words matter.

Her choices are different now. Quieter choices. A walk around the grounds. A game of Rummikub. A seat in the reception lounge with people who understand. They do not erase what she has lost. But they help her keep taking part in life as it is now.

“I’ve had a life and a half,” Ruby says. She has. And at HBH Howick Views, that life still has people, stories, laughter and choices in it.